Friday F&@% Ups Fun

Well this has been quite the day so far.

6:10 - Jacob enters room where Mike and I are warm, tucked under the covers and sound asleep. "MOMMY, DADDY!" he says, "Parker just pooped his pants and now its all over the floor and his hands!" Per usual, I play possum until Mike says, "Jess get up! I'm gonna need your help with this."

We walk into the boys bathroom and Parker has his pants half way pulled down. There are several turds laying on the floor and a few more floating in the toilet. Oh, and his hand is brown. And by brown I mean....BROWN. The whole thing is covered in crap. Trying to buy time so we can figure out where the heck to begin understand, we say, "Parker, what in the world happened?" Side note: even when he was potty training, he never once pooped his pants. And he potty trained well over a year ago!!

We get his undies off, throw them away and stick Parker in the bathtub. He is crying, I am gagging, Jacob is laughing/heckling and Mike is yelling. I pretend to be taking out the undies to the trash so I don't have to deal with it and Mike got him cleaned up. Now I need to go disinfect the bathtub before Eden gets in tonight and in her usual fashion, drinks all the dirty water.....now with poop remains.

7:00 - Trying to get Jacob out the door to catch the bus and Parker 'accidentally' spills his bowl of oatmeal all over the rug. Then in an attempt to clean it, he smears it in - in a circular motion. Wonderful.

7:15 - Parker has pencil that Eden wants. Parker runs away and she chases him. Parker stabs Eden in the head to get her to stop chasing him. Eden cries and Parker gets sent to his room.

So what happened before 7:30 in your house this morning? I bet it wasn't as eventful as mine. ;)